Op Cyclingnews las ik deze samenvatting van Sky’s Clean Policy En die van British Cycling.

It’s all perfectly reasonable.
And one day I’ll come out and tell the full story – but not now.
Let me explain, though.
Only today, I went to my doctor and they had no medical records for me because they keep them all on one single computer.
And my doctor takes that computer on holiday.
Then, it got stolen.
The doctor had forgotten to back-up his files. Not a one-time mistake – he did this over years, despite his vast experience as a doctor.
And no-one in the doctor’s organisation ever checked those medical files – not once – so no-one knew that they didn’t exist.
But why would anyone – including the other doctors – check my medical files? Or those of any other rider.
Fortunately, the organisation managed to wipe my doctor’s stolen computer remotely – the lord only knows how.
They could do that, but could not extract the data from it – the lord only knows how.
This organisation also got me a prescription from France and flew it to me here in Britain, even though there was a pharmacist down the road where I could buy it over the counter.
I also take a much, much stronger drug – which many people say I shouldn’t take. I take this drug very sporadically – only three times in my life. Otherwise, I don’t need it.
But I definitely needed it those three times in my life – just before grand tours.
The doctor had a large supply of this drug at his surgery: 55-70 doses.
Far more than he needed for the doses that I was supposed to have taken.
So, I could have been taking those extra doses at different times – legally out of competition, but also I could have taken it in competition because as I had a note saying I was allowed to take the drug and so they’d never know if I took it more than once.
The note I got in 2011 was actually given to me before I even had the medical.
And in 2012, I took my special drug 6 weeks after my medical examination that it was based on.
But then who doesn’t wait a month and a half to take a drug they desperately need?
And I desperately needed it because before I had that medical note I was only able to win a week-long bike races up mountains against the best riders in the world by one minute.
Our riders have been noticeably thin and sickly for a number of years.
And they often perform much better than previously once they join our team.
I wonder how many others are taking my special drug and how often.
Lots of people who have also been involved with this organisation have said that they have been given or offered a few different drugs, which is all legal, so that’s fine.
Maybe they were taking these extra doses of the extra strong drug too, which is legal out of competition.
But I’ve no idea, because we’re a very disorganised bunch and we don’t keep medical records – despite this being a legal requirement for doctors.
We even got some bad drugs delivered accidentally, either that or we ordered them and then asked the supplier to say we didn’t.
My doctor’s poorly, so no-one can ask him what’s going on.
But the General Medical Council probably will soon.
I think he might be a ‘rogue doctor’.
That might be what the boss decides.
They might have to blame the boss because once they get rid of him everyone will just assume that it’s all fine now and will stop
asking questions like ‘Who were the 55-70 doses of dangerous and performance-enhancing corticosteroids for – which and how many riders take them?’
The boss must be getting forgetful because he said he didn’t know anything about my special drug.
But then he said that he’d taken it himself.
The colleague I don’t like is really good now. He keeps talking about how he doesn’t take drugs and he wants to be tested more.
But then it turns out he has magic kidneys that turn themselves off and on again – how else could he have twice as much salbutamol in his system as he should do?
So, he must be innocent. Which is a shame because he is my enemy.
A lot of the drugs – corticosteroids (out of competition) and tramadol, for instance – are legal. That means they’re ok to take. Even though they have effects like damaging the immune system and causing dizziness (man, those descents in the Giro were difficult).
And then there are those pesky testosterone patches – but that was all just a big whoopsy-mistake, as I say above: they were maybe ordered or maybe not ordered, but no-one used them. God, we do well in the track olympic cycling.
All I know is everything’s absolutely fine and people should just trust us.
It’s all good for British cycling – look how many medals we’ve won.
Look at my medals.